Living Life As It Is: Chapter 8
On the Other Side
Chapter Eight – On the Other Side
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.
Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Suddenly, Outside the Gate
In mid-December 2025, I fell on ice, breaking my arm, and landed on the other side of the gate. It wasn’t quite that easy. I had to undergo lots of physical pain, fear, and the alienation of spending three nights in the hospital as more of a body and less of a person. I told the story of my hospital adventure in the section, “Staring Down My Biggest Fear” from Chapter Four. I wrote:
Throughout my ultra-safe Covid-avoiding life from 2020-2025, I had a haunting fear…. that I would need to go to the hospital or the emergency room during the Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year holiday season when Covid was usually at its worst…. And that is exactly what happened.
As I explained in that section, falling on the ice and breaking my arm initiated episodes of syncope caused by shock and dehydration. And this led to broken ribs from CPR. And all of this resulted in three nights in the hospital for observation where I was monitored for heart-related issues. During the first 2 nights/days I stayed masked.
Then the transformation happened and, by no will of my own, brought me to the other side of the gate. During the first days and nights in the hospital, I could barely move, with a broken arm on the right and broken ribs on the left. I was transported here and there for tests where I was flipped and flopped like a test dummy. This is not critical of the nurses and support staff, they were caring and compassionate, but I was very aware of the fact that when in the hospital, you are primarily seen as a body and suspected condition.
I was weak, vulnerable, and still grasping to my habit of fear until I didn’t have the strength to grasp any longer.
I let go and fell on the other side of the gate.
Grace / Letting Go
One of the most significant concepts or insights to emerge in the history of religion is the concept of Grace.
These are the words of Dr. Alfred Bloom, a leading Shin Buddhism scholar who pioneered Jodo Shinshu studies in the English-speaking world, and who I was lucky enough to have a teaching encounter with during my Lay Ministry training with the Bright Dawn Center of Oneness Buddhism. Dr. Bloom’s story is interesting. He was deployed in Japan as a translator and interpreter in the 1940s while he was an Evangelical Christian. During that time, he heard a Christian minister explain a Christian scripture passage using Amida Buddha as an analogy. It was there his life’s focus was sparked by both personal faith and rigorous intellectual study and teaching, highlighted by a doctorate from Harvard Divinity School, and later teaching/lecturing at Harvard Divinity School, the University of Oregon, the University of Hawaii at Manoa, and as Dean of the Institute of Buddhist Studies.
He wrote:
One of the most significant concepts or insights to emerge in the history of religion is the concept of Grace. Living in Western culture where the idea of Grace has been a core principle of Christianity and taken for granted, this fact may escape us. However, when we look at the history of religion broadly from ancient times until modern, religions of self-effort, self-striving, or self-power have been more evident.
The highlight in the above passage, as related to my personal story of “grace” is this: “religions of self-effort, self-striving, or self-power have been more evident.” Even if you are of the opinion that Buddhism is not a religion, I am confident you will agree that the practice of Buddhism in our current culture is, at least, spiritual, spiritual philosophy, or metaphysical. The study and practice of Buddhism in yesterday’s and today’s Western culture is a practice centered on self-effort that evolved from the monastic principle of striving for enlightenment through meditative and other disciplines.
Christianity and the Puritan/Protestant work ethic is at the heart of our culture that values the individual and “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps”. What Bloom is saying is that despite grace as a cornerstone in Christianity, it became less emphasized in both preaching and practice. But Christianity is not the only religion with a concept of Grace. One of those traditions is Jodo Shinshu (part of the Pure Land tradition), appearing in Japan with the teaching of Shinran (1173-1262).
I mentioned Shin Buddhism in Chapter Three. Shin Buddhism is part of the Japanese Mahayana Buddhist traditions that inform the Bright Dawn Center of Oneness Buddhism’s non-sectarian approach. I’ll share a brief overview of Shin Buddhism’s teachings and practice, based on teachings by Dr. Bloom, to highlight the concept of grace within a Buddhist context. Please note, I am not a Buddhist scholar, so any errors are mine.
This from Dr. Bloom, in his essay, “Amazing Grace: Christian and Buddhist” on his website, Shin Dharma Net:
The Pure Land tradition evolved from the story of a character, Dharmakara Bodhisattva, who sought a way to bring all beings to enlightenment and eventually became the realized Amida Buddha. He made 48 vows to create the perfect environment for the swift attainment of enlightenment. This tradition began to flourish in China…where it was simplified for the ordinary person. As a result, the monastic disciplines underlying early Buddhism were replaced by the recitation of the Name of Amida Buddha as the practice for laypeople….
In the final stage of this evolution Shinran interpreted the Name as representing complete and absolute Other-Power. The path of development can be seen in Shinran’s interpretation of the term Nen in Nenbutsu. In its earliest stage it represented meditation practice in the monastic, meditative tradition…. For Shinran, it acquired the meaning of Faith, trust, the trusting mind. In Shinran’s teaching…the recitation of the name was transformed to an expression of gratitude with no other ulterior motive or search for virtue and perfection to qualify for enlightenment.
I know some of you reading this may be turned off by words like “grace” and “faith. The caution here is to understand that spiritual literature is filled with symbolism while telling stories that can be applied to each of our lives. As Bloom explains, there are theistic and non-theistic approaches to the mystery of Grace. He writes:
In ancient Christianity there was, perhaps, more appreciation of the spiritual and mystical side of Grace. Though certainly taken seriously and literally, Christians focused on the high drama of the story…. For early Christians it was focal but not subjected to analysis….
In our modern times with the rise and dominance of science, there has been a tendency to focus on the literal, historic reading of the story and efforts to prove the factuality of events in the story of Jesus. The modern approach reflects the scientific ethos of our time.
Bloom explains that comparing an understanding of grace in the Christian approach to the Asian approach, the Christian approach expects someone to believe in a set of events outside and beyond the person. The Asian approach focuses on the processes of Nature. Nature is seen as the great feminine, embracing and nurturing all life. In Buddhism the process of interdependence in all aspects of life reveals how interconnected and interrelated we are.
This Asian view of grace helped me understand how a bad fall on ice caused me to land on the other side of the gate I had built by grasping at fear. It wasn’t self-effort that enabled me to finally let go. I tried before but could not let go. It took facing my biggest fear and, in the end, emerging without Covid or even a cold. And, again, I didn’t willingly face my fears; I was too lost in delusion. It was because of a web of nature’s conditions, which were outside of my control, and possibly my lack of focus on what was under my feet that caused me to slip and fall. And that fall, and the subsequent injuries and medical events forced me to give up grasping at what wasn’t and accept the consequences of what was.
Transformation
I had a Dharma teacher who said, “suffering is a Buddha.” I believe in that Buddha. From my life experiences and from my observation of the experiences of others, it is our failures and suffering in life that teach us to let go and get out of the way of what is.
All wisdom traditions teach the possibility of transformation. Transformation can come through personal growth and spiritual development that happens through the study and practice of philosophical and religious teachings that focus on cultivating wisdom, compassion, and a deeper understanding of oneself and the world. Those things are self-power. But Both Buddhism and Christianity teach a transformation that comes from causes external to our self-power—phenomena or people that initiate a transformation in our perspective, values, attitudes, and behaviors. These can be changes that cause surrender or letting go, or compassion, forgiveness, enhanced peace, joy, equanimity, and more self-awareness.
The Buddha spoke of the importance of facing life's challenges as a means of awakening to our true nature. The challenges that happen to us through external forces can also enable us to take more risks and embrace the uncertainty that is life as it is. In Christianity, stories of transformation center on being more Christlike, which initiates changes in perspective and actions.
In a theological context, "grace" often refers to God's unearned favor and love, and it's believed to be a powerful force that can lead to profound transformation, both inwardly and outwardly, in a person's life. All wisdom traditions reference outside or other-power influence as causes of transformation, which I will refer to as grace.
In Christianity, grace is seen as a spontaneous gift from God that cannot be earned. In Islam, grace is taught as what Allah gives after faith and good works, and salvation is seen as a result of believing in Allah and doing good works. In Hinduism, grace signifies divine influence that helps individuals overcome challenges, achieve success, and attain enlightenment. And in Buddhism, the grace of the Buddha signifies divine support that aids in spiritual journeys, emphasizing the interconnectedness of wisdom and compassion.
All these teachings emphasize the unearned nature of grace, a profound change in your life or your perspective that is not the result of human effort. The change initiated by grace is typically presented as a catalyst for transformation. The fall I took and the medical consequences that followed caused me to face my biggest boogeyman, the worst possible scenario I had imagined in my delusionary, fear-based reality. And those circumstances were given to me by grace, resulting in a profound transformation.
Transformations are not transformations unless they go beyond a single event. Transformation is a continuous process of growth and change. They are typically empowering. The transformation that I experienced began with a fall and evolved through pain and some confusion about how I was suddenly thinking differently. I experienced a reevaluation of my thoughts and beliefs that I didn’t initiate. The circumstances of what happened to me at the time and after changed my perspective completely.
Despite my pain, when I came home from the hospital, I no longer thought about being exposed to viruses. Neighbors and family were coming to visit, and my wife and I were desperate to welcome them. The love and life that surrounded us created peace and happiness for both of us. During the episodes of syncope that landed me in the hospital, neighbors rushed to help us. One of our neighbors drove me and my wife home from the hospital three times. They brought food and goodies. They shoveled and salted our driveway.
And there was a broader transformation that happened to our neighbors, too. They bonded together and became closer after what happened because they got to know each other better as they were helping us. This effect continued with a chain of text check-ins and helping that evolved to support one of our neighbors who was diagnosed with cancer and undergoing treatment soon after I was home from the hospital.
All of this was grace. I saw everything differently. I saw interaction, love, and caring instead of fear and mistrust.
As Shinran taught, the Nembutsu, Amida, and Other-Power were about gratitude, faith, and a trusting mind. This grace was contagious. I watched our already close neighborhood become even closer, become a connected family. When I surrendered to life as it is and stopped struggling against its flow, the more I saw freedom instead of confinement and love instead of fear. I learned a way to float on the ocean of suchness rather than grasp at the imaginary oar of control.
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I dare say that the current state of governmental affairs and eminent global collapse of conventional reality is on my big-fear list... and I'm open to the Grace that prescribed the cure, to see me (us) through the cure.